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Resolute Consulting LLC

Feelings... nothing more (or less) than feelings

Published 11 months ago • 4 min read

I don't know if you've missed reading this newsletter? I've missed writing it. So, we're back!

I've developed four guidelines that I think will support success:

  1. The newsletter will be somewhat spontaneous. Client work needs to come first. Breathing space needs to come second. And, of course, I don't always have something to say. So, you'll hear from me about once a month, but not on a fixed schedule.
  2. No excuses. Writing these is (usually) a pleasure, but after long gaps the shame gremlins sometimes kick in and I get paralyzed. See #1 as the first step of avoiding shame.
  3. Lots of resources. I'm constantly reading, learning, and teaching. Part of the fun of the newsletter is sharing that with all of you, so there are lots of links to different sites and tools.
  4. Minimal selling. But there will be invitations to work together. It's a business after all!

Thanks for giving me space in your inbox. I sincerely appreciate it, and love that these newsletters often provide a prompt to dialog - please reach out with your thoughts,

Joanna Hoffschneider

Founder, Resolute Consulting LLC


How do you feel? Do you know? And why does it matter?

I'm in a year with a lot of feelings! Many of them are good - joy, wonder, surprise, excitement. Some of them are stereotypically "not" - frustration, overwhelment, uncertainty. I know (and I'm told by those around me) that I am handling this complexity better than I have in years past. That's both reassuring and immensely gratifying. I am certain that my research, learning, and intentional practice since starting Resolute has been valuable in building my emotional intelligence skills. So has my creativity practice, facilitated by Mary Hendra.

At the end of a busy day, the Calm app is a frequent friend to me. The STOP practice is invaluable, as is a good walk. I have noticed my walking pace varies by as much as 3 minutes/mile depending on my state of mind. When I use Marc Brackett's Mood Meter, I recognize that speed definitely come with "high energy" feelings - both pleasant and unpleasant!

What gets in the way? Anger can flare at the strangest times, disrupting our desire (and ability) to be clear about how we feel. I've certainly wrestled with anger over the years, and every one of my personal and professional relationships has improved since I strengthened my ability to modulate that emotion.

We can learn how to help ourselves. I know that anticipation increases my happiness and decreases my worry. I've trained people around me to let me express anticipation - and not just see it as obsessive planning or a need for control! Once you identify your needs, you can devise strategies to help yourself, and persuade others to help you, too.

The authors of one of the articles linked above (Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy) are the authors of two marvelously accessible books exploring the topic: No Hard Feelings and Big Feelings.

So where are all these feelings coming from? Here's the Easter Egg for close readers. At work: I'm learning how to pivot from starting a business to sustaining one. It's not always easy (though it's usually fun). At home: I'm getting married in August. No one is more surprised (or delighted) than I!


Appreciation - it's not the same for everyone.

We've had a number of fascinating conversations lately about appreciation at work. Remote and dispersed work means appreciation has to be more intentional. Economic uncertainty and recent wage inflation makes "just give them a raise" less likely. And appreciation means different things to different people - team leaders have to know their audience.

The first time I managed a large team, it took me a while to learn they each had a different language of appreciation. At the end of a big deadline, one person loved getting an extra day off. Another was thrilled with a spot bonus, while a third loved the flowers on their desk that showed others they were appreciated. It's subtle, but the good news is there's a rubric!

The Great Place to Work Institute has a useful breakdown of the five common languages here, and you can learn more about the Motivating by Appreciation (MBA) Inventory here. It's really helpful to know your own language, as well as that of those you manage. Mine, by the way, is Words of Appreciation. My delightful fiancé is mostly patient with my occasional explicit request to "say nice things to me". And I am very fortunate to have clients and friends who send notes of appreciation, as well, though I doubt they know how often I turn back to reread them. I'd love to hear what your language is - please do share!

"Relationships are based on four principles: respect, understanding, acceptance, and appreciation."
— Mahatma Gandhi

Upcoming programming

  • July 11th and August 9th - CREW DC - Leading with Learning: A Race and Equity Reading Circle - It is my privilege to be part of the team bringing this program to fruition. Our remaining book for 2023 is Women, Minorities, and Other Extraordinary People by Barbara Adams
  • July 19th - Ellevate Nashville (on Zoom) - Speak Up: Sharing wins, amplifying success, building community. I joined Ellevate in 2020, just before the Covid pandemic. Since then, I have found this industry-agnostic womens' business network to be valuable, both virtually and in-person. I've learned a lot from the Entrepreneur Group, enjoyed meeting others in the DC Chapter, and am delighted to have been asked to speak for the Nashville Chapter.
  • September 2023 - Leadership Development - we're offering our well-received, cohort-based program for individual enrollment for the first time. This 10-month program is designed for mid-career professionals looking to enhance their personal and team leadership skills, as well as improve their management skills. Learn more here.

Interested in professional development for your company or industry association? Email us to learn more about Resolute's approach.


If this newsletter was forwarded to you, you can subscribe here. See you next month, and please share your feedback.


©2023 Resolute Consulting LLC | www.resoluteconsulting.co I 301 873 9481

Resolute Consulting LLC

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